The heroes explore the strange, wonderful, and mostly disappointing world of mystery boxes before entering the perilous depths of Lucid Forest. The decision to give characters voices bears more bitter fruit when the one exception to John's otherwise terrible voice acting turns out to be his eerily realistic "sinister pervert" impression.
The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin meet for a third time at Wrestlemania XIX! John and Nick discuss the important legal and moral distinction between "weapons" and "foreign objects," the terrifying power of Chris Masters, and the timeless music of Limp Bizkit.
What perils await at the top of the lighthouse? Will Corvo save Princess Emily and usher in a grim new era of brutality and despotism under the iron fist of a crazed new Empress, or fail and doom the Empire to a still-darker fate? Will Nick's barely-functional laptop hold out long enough for him to even finish the Let's Play as John's co-commentator? All this, and more, will be revealed in the triumphant conclusion to Let's Play Dishonored: Corvo Attano Is History's Greatest Monster Edition!
An invitation to a birthday party? What fun! I'll just climb aboard my carriage and HOLY SHIT ARROW ATTACK BATTLEFIELD MEDICINE FAILED OH GOD
The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels faces Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania XIX! John lament's Nick's excessive height, and time paradoxes caused by Nick's repeated failures come back to haunt us as causality itself begins to crumble
John gets hopelessly lost, JT seizes his long-awaited chance to make a Georgia O'Keefe reference, Nick talks about the movie Scarface for some reason, and things continue to make no damn sense. All this and more in the final episode of Let's Try Final Fantasy XIII-3: Lightning Returns!
Well, I hope Martin enjoyed his stint as the HEAD of the Empire's state religion... eh? Eh? Sorry, I'll stop now.
Princess Elodie's questionable jurisprudence leads to the castle's second catastophic explosion in less than a month and the escape of numerous dangerous criminals from the now-destroyed dungeon. Afterwards, she agrees to marry the young new Duke of Elath, puts her education in intrigue to good use, and continues to be a bottomless well of rage.
John gets hopelessly lost, JT seizes his long-awaited chance to make a Georgia O'Keefe reference, Nick talks about the movie Scarface for some reason, and things continue to make no damn sense. All this and more in the final episode of Let's Try Final Fantasy XIII-3: Lightning Returns!
Lightning continues to fighter her way through the set of Eyes Wide Shut. Meanwhile, the guys explore the inadequacies of the battle system, delve into more character classes, and discuss Lightning's many fashion Don'ts, the horrible Resident Evil movie, and the fine line between "skirt" and "belt."
John, JT, and Nick take a look at the demo for Final Fantasy XIII-3! It's the end of the world, for some reason, and apparently Lightning is Neo and/or Batman now. The battle system will be explored, fabulous new outfits will be tried on, and JT will narrowly avoid being incapacitated by a series of painful compression holds.
Corvo's systematic depopulation of Kingsparrow Island continues, and we run into some old friends.
Elodie becomes a boiling cauldron of rage as she makes a disastrous showing on the dance floor during the Grand Ball, fails in her attempt to trip Dowager King Dad's new girlfriend, and discovers that Aunt Juliana's "drastic measures" for retrieving the still-elusive lumen crystal turn out to involve blowing up the treasury with several guards still inside. On the plus side, she's basically Sailor Moon now.
Corvo infiltrates Kingsparrow Island, where Admiral Havelock has holed up with the captive Princess Emily. And by "infiltrates," I mean "kills every single human inhabitant of."
Princess Elodie's first foray into law goes badly awry when she accidentally insults one of her noblemen and the defendant is murdered in the middle of court. Then she prevents the development of modern medicine. We all have our bad days.
Triple H faces undisputed WWE Champion Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania X8! John puts his knowledge of German power metal to good use, and finally takes his Vince McMahon impression too far.
The power of the enhanced arc pylon is unleashed, reducing Corvo's enemies to ashes in a hellish storm of whale-fueled fury. Then it's time to fire the Samuel Signal and depart Kingsparrow Island, where the the treacherous leaders of the Loyalist Conspiracy hold Princess Emily captive.
The heroes undertake a new quest to seek out Lloyd, a missng member of the local guards. Dan's suggestion that they give the characters different voices when reading dialogue ushers in a new dark age of audio horror from John, who learned everything he knows about acting from 20-year-old Fox Kids superhero cartoons.
Awkwardness ensues when it turns out that Elodie has unwittingly accepted a marriage proposal from the Duke of Sedna, while King Dowager Dad explains the kingdom's "just let monsters eat people" policy.
"Hollywood" Hulk Hogan faces The Rock at X8! Eras will clash, bandanas will be worn, and John and Nick will discuss the true source of Ric Flair's immortality.
We get an inkling of just how many decades of intensive psychotherapy Princess Emily is going to need when all this is over, and reunite with Piero and Sokolov in Piero's besieged workshop. In an unusual burst of competence, John shows off the power of the Bend Time ability, while Nick reveals another chilling tale of workplace malfeasance.
Drunk on her own overwhelming willfullness, Princess Elodie begins her education in military strategy, launches an invasion of some place called Imbrium, and unwittingly prevents the invention of the printing press. Meanwhile, Duchess Julianna darkly hints at the possible need for "drastic action" when Elodie's attempt to reclaim her mother's lumen crystal is stopped by her crystalblocking King Dowager Dad, and John alienates another important demographic forever.
After a long absence, Corvo finally returns to the Hound's Pit Pub to demand an apology from his erstwhile allies the Loyalists for the whole "attempted murder by poisoning" business. Plus, John and Nick discuss the question that burns in the mind of every Dishonored fan: Just how bad is the new Michael Bay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie? Spoilers for that, by the way, in case anyone actually cares.
The heroes return to town to sell their hard-won loot, John finally musters enough neurons to properly complete a simple "talk to this guy" quest he received two episodes ago, and we learn about Dark Blood's "skill script system." Then, back into the fray!
We meet Elodie's Aunt Julianna, Duchess of Ursul and mysterious sorceress, and further Princess Elodie's education in HOLY SHIT SNAKE ATTACK!
The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin once again do battle at Wrestlemania X-Seven, with The Rock's WWE World Championship belt on the line in a No Disqualification match. John achieves his long-time goal of working a "Robot Jox" reference into a video, and gets a chance to break out his Sergeant Slaughter impression.
Corvo meets his old friend's Slackjaw and Granny Rags, though the reunion is somewhat marred when Granny turns out to be a monstrous undying abomination and Corvo is forced to send her blackened soul screaming into the Void. You know, standard "visiting your grandparents" stuff.
John and Nick and dive into deceptively cute Japanese life sim/visual novel/magic princess adventure Long Live the Queen! In the first episode we learn how to play the game and meet our heroine Princess Ellodie, soon to be crowned Queen of Nova after the untimely death of her mother, her newly widowed swingin' bachelor dad King Dowager Joslyn, and some of the other important personages of the kingdom.
It's every man for himself as Mick Foley, The Big Show, Tripe H, and the Rock fight for the WWF World Championship in a Fatal Four Way at Wrestlemania 2000! Will Nick successfully lead Triple H to his historical victory, or accidentally usher in a dark new era where The Rock sits his beskulled Shao Kahn throne?
Corvo descends into the sewers and purges the local wildlife with cleansing fire, while John bravely attempts to actually talk about the backstory of the Dishonored universe, for once. Then a familiar voice is heard...
The most electrifying geological formations in sports entertainment collide as Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson battles Stone Cold Steve Austin at Wrestlemania XV!
Corvo makes his way across a desolate, ruined landscape as he finally reaches the exit of the Flooded District. Progress is actually made, tallboys are felled in badass drop-kill fashion, and the strange and exotic world of alternate Oreo flavors is discussed.
Back into the forest, then onward into the caves! We delve into the skills system, massacre more wildlife, and gratuitously tempt fate when Dan mentions he's never yet died in the game.
Bullets fly, buildings explode, and androgen levels surge as John and his pal JT team up for some two-player co-op action in Devolver Digital's Broforce spinoff/The Expendables 3 tie-in, The Expendabros!
John's growing exasperation at his own past self's ineptitude reaches a boiling point as he puts on a veritable clinic in how not to play Dishonored, getting Corvo into ill-advised shootouts with tallboys and spending what feels like several geological epochs struggling to reach a rune.
The Undertaker battles his estranged brother Kane at Wrestlemania XIV! Things take a turn for the macabre and horrific outside the ring as well as inside when the discussion turns to the question of Kane's parentage, and John irrevocably soils yet another one of Nick's beloved childhood memories.
