Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Its Hour Come Round at Last: New Releases for the Week of 02-13-11

As foretold in cryptic and ancient texts- given the speed at which the media moves nowadays, I think a blog post from two days ago more or less counts as ancient, and my grotesquely Baroque clauses-upon-clauses-upon-parenthetical-asides-upon-semicolons-upon-still-more-clauses writing certainly counts as cryptic- the time has come for Pointless Side Quest's first weekly round-up of new releases.

Hyperdimension Neptunia (PlayStation 3)

Fantasy RPG published by Nippon Ichi. Apparently, the plot is based on the game industry itself, set in a world divided between between rival goddesses who are allegorical representations of this generation's competing consoles and inhabited by characters who are stand-ins for different developers.

I've been know to stretch the truth on this blog occasionally, so I can't really blame you if you think I'm just making that up. That arguably rivals Kingdom Hearts for the title of Game Premise Most Likely to Have Been Originally Conceived at 3:00 AM By People Sitting In a Huge Cloud of Marijuana Smoke. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, by any means. And Nippon Ichi usually doesn't disappoint, so this has piqued my interest.

Marvel Vs. Capcom: Fate of Two Worlds (PlayStation 3 and Xbox360)

The long-awaited continuation of the popular crossover fighting game series. Finally, a way to answer the question of who would win in a fight between Mike Haggar, Galactus, and Tron Bonne. (Though it leaves unresolved the far greater mystery of why a game with two characters from the Mega Man series doesn't  include Mega Man but apparently did have enough space for Tron Bonne.)

Hard Corps: Uprising (PlayStation Network, Xbox Live Arcade)

Konami's new shooter, inspired by classic run-and-gun games like Contra. Has what is arguably the most unintentionally dirty-sounding title for a video game since the 1995 Sega CD classic Wild Woody.

LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars (PlayStation 3, Xbox360, and Nintendo Wii)
The newest entry in the popular series of Lego-inspired action games. Insert joke about the relative acting abilities displayed by Hayden Christensen in the prequels versus those of an  inanimate plastic block here.
 Gears of War Triple Pack (Xbox360)

Collection that includes Gears of War, Gears of War 2, and the Gears of War 2: All Fronts expansion. Not bad for $30, especially if you're a newcomer to the series and wan to immerse yourself in the atmosphere of the Gears of War universe without the commitment and expense of the more hardcore “injecting massive amounts of anabolic steroids directly into your eyeballs until your head connects directly to your torso” method.

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