(Note: The original version of this article appeared at Kuribo's Shoes, the wordl's greatest gaming-related fake news site, so if you like it be sure to check them out. )
In the aftermath of Capcom’s cancellation of the long-awaited third game in the Mega Man Legends series, the reclusive star of the long-running franchise has finally emerged to give his side of the story.
“I knew they were getting ready to fuck me,” Mega Man said in an
interview conducted at his home in Santa Clarita, California. “I knew
after Marvel vs. Capcom 3. I mean, they decided to have two
playable characters from my games in it. They included Zero for the
first time. And hey, he deserves it. He’s a good kid. And then for the
second slot, they decided to use Tron Bonne? Seriously?
“I’m the most iconic character in the company’s history. They’ve got Viewtiful Joe in the game. They’ve got three Resident Evil
characters in there. They’ve got Akuma, because Lord knows Capcom won’t
be satisfied unless they've shoehorned that glorified palette-swap into
every fighting game they ever make. They’ve got some one-armed has-been,
they’ve got a Japanese dog that doesn’t even talk, they’ve got Zero
and freakin’ Tron Bonne, and I hear that for the Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom
expansion they apparently have some damn lawyer fighting in it. How the
hell did that happen? Did he win a contest, or something? Was Capcom
running some sort of ‘Send in five hundred cereal box tops for a chance
to appear in Marvel vs. Capcom 3′ promotional bullshit that I never
heard about?”
Inside sources at Capcom say the decision was motivated by Mega Man’s
increasingly erratic and unprofessional behavior, which had started
making him a liability to the developer. Mega Man has been involved in
several high-profile conflicts with other characters in the Mega Man series
over the years. Well-known examples including his tumultuous marriage,
divorce, remarriage, and second divorce with co-star Roll, an
acrimonious offscreen relationship with Dr. Light that reportedly
culminated in a drunken, cocaine-fueled fistfight in Light’s dressing
room on the set of Mega Man 10, and a long-running media feud with Proto Man for allegations made against Mega Man in Proto Man’s controversial tell-all book Sex, Drugs, and Steel: A Shocking Look Behind the Scenes of Capcom’s Most Beloved Series.
In 2009, Capcom reached an out-of-court settlement for an undisclosed
sum after a sexual harassment lawsuit was filed by Splash Woman, the Mega Man series’
first- and to date, only- female Robot Master, due to what Splash
Woman’s attorneys described as Mega Man’s “lewd, offensive, and
unprofessional conduct” on the set of Mega Man 9.
The last straw was apparently during the production of Mega Man Legends 3: Prototype Version, a prologue for Mega Man Legends three proper. Planned for a release on the 3DS eShop as a teaser for the main game, MML3: Prototype Version
suffered repeated production delays while Mega Man attended a series of
court-ordered rehabilitation sessions after being arrested for driving
while intoxicated and misdemeanor narcotics possession in April 2011,
which violated the terms of his probation for several similar previous
offenses during the previous year. This ultimately led to Capcom’s
decision to pull the plug on the beleaguered project.
Mega Man says he is considering a number of offers from other
companies, which are rumored to include roles such as ED-209 in the
video game adaptation of a possible reboot of the Robocop franchise, one of the Reapers in Mass Effect 3, and the title role in future Bomberman games. He is also in negotiations to star in a planned remake of 1994 fighting game Rise of the Robots, tentatively entitled Rise of the Robots: Not the Most Godawful Game Ever Crapped Out Edition.
Though he insists that he has already put his acrimonious split with
Capcom behind him, it’s clear that some resentment still lingers. “The
first time I even heard there was going to be a Marvel vs. Capcom 3 was
when Zero called to give me the news that he was in it,” he said. “They
never even asked me if I wanted to be involved! You’d think they’d want
Marvel vs. Capcom 3 to include the man who made Capcom what it
is, but apparently they couldn’t be bothered with me because they had
to make sure that there was enough space for TRON FUCKING BONNE to be included.”
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