NeverDead
(PlayStation 3, Xbox 360) Action game
about an ancient demon-hunter cursed with immortality. His
immortality is an important gameplay mechanic: you can be damaged,
dismembered, or even decapitated but can never actually die.(Though
you can still lose if your non-immortal partner is killed.) Luckily,
you can pick up and reattach lost limbs as needed, and even roll
back to your torso if your head gets cut off, so that the action can
continue and the game doesn't turn into an undead version of Johnny Got His Gun.
(Speaking of still-living severed
heads, why has there never been a game based on Re-Animator? What
kind of universe are we living in when Hudson Hawk, Krull, The
Lawnmower Man, Congo, the Noid, Chester Cheetah, and the red circle
on bottles of 7-Up have all had games made about them and Re-Animator
never has?)
It sounds like an interesting concept,
I suppose, but there's only room for one video game hero with
re-attachable limbs in my heart, and that's the one and only Plok:
adventurer, warrior, flag connoisseur, harmonica virtuoso,
Renaissance man, and guy so badass that no enemy can knock one of his arms or legs off because he removes his own limbs so
that he can hurl them at his foes. Accept no substitutes.
Final Fantasy XIII-2
(Xbox 360, PlayStation 3) I've detailed my waning love for Final Fantasy and Square in general before and
won't repeat it in detail here, except to say how odd it feels to be
so indifferent to the release of a new Final Fantasy game when there
was a time when such an event would have me ablaze with anticipation.
It's like going through puberty in reverse.
Iron Brigade: Rise of the Martian Bear
(Xbox Live Arcade) Expansion for the
tower defense game Iron Brigade, aka Trenched, from Double FineProductions. I like tower defense and have heard good things about
this game, so it's a shame it's an Xbox 360 exclusive.
Speaking of things that seem to have
been shoddily jury-rigged together,* do you ever get the feeling that
some games are named by coming up with a bunch of titles and
subtitles independently, and then just picking one of each at random?
Presumably the name Iron Brigade: Rise of the Martian Bear makes
some sort of sense within the context of the game's story, but
outside that context it looks like the guys at Double Fine were
playing MadLibs around the office when they remembered that they were
supposed to have come up with a list of proposed titles for the new
expansion by the end of the day and decided to just go with whatever
was already written down.
*(I kid, I kid. A good friend of mine
has an Xbox 360, and it was a technological marvel until its most
recent red ring of death occurred after the warranty ran out and he
decided he just didn't give a damn any more and went back to PC
games.)
Gorilla Gondola
(iPhone) I have no idea what this is
about and have nothing to say about it, but I include it here because
I have no idea when or if the opportunity to have the phrase “Gorilla
Gondola” appear on this blog will come again.
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