Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Seduction of the innocent

You may know that when Electronic Gaming Monthly went out of business, people with existing subscriptions were given Maxim as a substitute, which some parents were not happy about. Meanwhile, it has been reported that several British game magazines contain ads for pornography and phone sex lines. I sympathize with a parent who doesn’t want their child exposed to that sort of thing, though when the largest newspaper in your country has a regular daily feature revolving around pictures of nude women it may be a forlorn hope. That said, I wouldn’t worry too much. Whenever I watched television late at night as a kid half the ads were for phone sex lines, and aside from an unfortunate incident that led to me being banned for life from the phone section of my local Best Buy it didn’t do me any harm.

The other half of the ads, incidentally, were hilariously amateurish pitches for local car dealerships and insurance companies. If you don’t live in the Chicago area and have never known the simple pleasures of staring at the TV at 2:00 AM watching a man in an eagle costume squat on top of a woman’s car and squeeze out an insurance policy from between his legs, and then spending the next half hour wondering if what you just saw was an actual commercial or some sort of fatigue-induced hallucination, you need be deprived no longer:

Try not to spend too much time thinking about why Eagle Man is able to lay an egg. That way lies madness.

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